Comments on: More Elderly Parents Living With Adult Children

By: Third Sister

Third Sister — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 15:20:00 +0000

It may be awful for the parent too, but don’t forget it’s their needs that are driving it. It’s their needs that are being met by this arrangement - otherwise it woudn’t be happening. For the parent, it’s probably way better than the alternatives - a nursing home or trying to tough it out alone. For the adult child, the alternative is freedom and living their own life the way they want. They are the losers in this equation.

By: Third Sister

Third Sister — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 15:16:00 +0000

I hear you Bill. I’m in something very close to the same boat.

By: Lrrichards73

Lrrichards73 — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:42:00 +0000

I agree with you Anne most people tend to forget that most children are “healthy” so its not the same as taking care of someone who is not “healthy”. Also children will grow up and eventually leave the nest. Whereas an elderly parent will be with you until they pass on. If children had to live with and be taken care of by their parents for the rest of their lives I don’t think our population would be as large as it is or people would think really heavily before they decided to have children. Comparing elderly parents to healthy children is like comparing apples to oranges…

By: Lrrichards73

Lrrichards73 — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:36:00 +0000

I have to say I am not caring for an elderly parent but I am the mother of 6 children. Taking care and elderly parent vs. a child is two completely different things. A child (if healthy) is not a hard thing to do but an elderly parent is…well…I don’t think I could do it. My heart goes out to anyone that does…

By: Anne

Anne — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 06:56:31 +0000

Anika I completely understand your feeling that Bill should be more supportive of his mother and that he should value his time with her. I understand but I do not agree. He is experiencing perfectly normal feelings related to his situation. My parents spent their life caring for me and I am dedicated to caring for my children however my children are healthy and require only the routine “parental care”. I am sure that if either of them were ill or suffered a chronic health condition I would feel much different.
I hear from many caregivers each day about the stressors and changes their life is undergoing as a result of taking on the task. I empathize with them. I empathize with Bill and his feelings that there is no support out there for them. There is a limited amount of support out there for the caregivers and even if there was they do not have the time to attend.
I would like to speak more with Bill about his feelings and where he is now with the process.

By: Ritahumbel

Ritahumbel — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 02:56:49 +0000

I would also like to join an internet community consisting of elderly parents living with their adult children. Seems all I see is about how awful it is for the children. How about from the parents point of view?
Rita in France

By: Stacythebat

Stacythebat — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 07:40:10 +0000

Blow Gently

– by Sue Alexander Blow gently through my memory

The things I loved the best.

My life is not my own no more

I wish that I could rest.

My purpose I no longer know

maybe my jobs done.

Could it be what I feared most

time has finally won.

I grieve for what I once was

I cant believe the sorrow.

Oh if I could only wake

And be at home tomorrow.

The distant sound of my familys voice

Is more than I can bare.

I am alone in this strange place

Dont they even care?

Everyday nothing new

It always seems the same.

Is it any wonder

I do not know my name.

Another day another dawn

I wait for my release.

Only when I am with my loved ones

Will I finally be at peace.

I dont need much, my time is short

I only want to visit.

A familiar face a loving voice

This isnt to much to ask, is it?

TheSilent Being

– by Sue Alexander Copyright 1998 —

I am a human being

Though I am old and still.

Even though I never speak

Does not mean I cannot feel.

I am not an empty shell

My heart still beats within.

I am simply waiting here

For my new life to begin.

We are on this earth

For his job we must complete.

When that job is finished

The Lord and I will meet.

So dont begrudge me

My silent stay.

For I could be you

On some future day.

By: Ryan Malone

Ryan Malone — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:57:28 +0000

Ron, not that I know of, but I would recommend that you post a message on LinkedIn Questions. You’ll get something back quickly.

By: Ron

Ron — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 00:19:52 +0000

Are there any web sites/internet communities out there (that consists of the elderly living with their adult children), that chat/messageboard with one another on the site?

By: Daria

Daria — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 01:03:49 +0000

@Anika
Unless you have to care for a parent, you'll never know just how much a trap it is. I know how Bill feels. I've been caring for my since I was 13. I'm 25 now. She's getting better, but doesn't want to go back to work. And she thinks I'm going to care for her for the rest of her life. I've nothing left to give, emotionally nor finacially. I love my mom, but because of her, I feel like I have no life.

So please don't judge people who are caring for their parents. It can drive even the strongest of people to brink of insanity.