There are many gratifying benefits of volunteering at any age. The helper’s high–a good feeling one receives from helping others–can be experienced by anyone.  But it is probably a feeling more appreciated by an older person. Think about it, a retiree who has had a lifetime of work and experience behind them must feel good when they can use that previous knowledge to improve the life of another individual.

Sociologist Erik Erikson theorized that all people go through the same life stages. He labeled middle adulthood as anyone being 40-64 years old.  He labeled this stage of life Generativity vs Stagnation. All of Erikson’s stages involved two opposing possible outcomes at odds with each other. Generativity means  the person feels they have produced something of value to leave behind. Stagnation means the person feels that they haven’t produced anything of value or significance and when they leave this world, they would be forgotten. Simply having children doesn’t bring about generativity.

During the Generativity vs Stagnation stage, people are questioning “Will I produce something of value?” To achieve generativity a person needs to give back to society, and volunteering is a great way to do that.

Benefits for society from seniors volunteering

There are numerous societal benefits in having seniors volunteer in our communities. They have helped out by providing compassion to  visitors for people in hospitals. Retired teachers have helped out younger generations by tutoring them after school. Professionals of all kinds donate their time and services after retirement. This give back mentality has carried then national when times are tough.

WECARE: Seniors Helping Seniors

WECARE stands for Working to Enhance the Care and Resources for our Elders. It is a non-profit program funded by the Americorps and California State University, Fullerton. The idea behind WECARE is to have seniors help other seniors. Today, college students and baby boomers work together to improve the lives of seniors in the Orange Country community. Doing everything from healthy living classes, friendly visits, care giving, etc., WECARE rescues or creates community programs to enable seniors to age in place. Americorps also provides living stipends for their members.

For more information about WECARE please email Ashiya Kerr, volunteer coordinator at akerr@fulllerton.edu . To find out more information about Americorps please visit www.americorps.gov.

Photo credit: San Jose Library

About the Author: Ryan Malone is the founder of InsideElder Care and author of the ByFamilies, For Families Guide to Assisted Living. He regularly speaks and advises families about how to improve their aging loved one’s quality of life. Ryan is also the president of SmartBug Media, a content marketing agency that helps companies increase leads, customers and influence. You can read more from Ryan on the SmartBug Media blog or follow him on Twitter.

The title of caregiver is not as obvious as it may seem.  Caregivers can aid in eldercare on many different levels and depending on your needs their roles can provide key benefits.

Benefits of caregivers

Your eyes and ears: Whether you live close by or far away, a caregiver can observe and update you on areas of nutrition, hygiene, activity level, services and other daily issues.

A concierge: Scheduling and staying current with weekly and monthly activities such as doctor’s visits, shopping, hair appointments, and therapy requires phone calls and follow up.  Allow the caregiver to take some of this off or your mind and your to-do list.

An influencer: Communication and opinions by close family members are sometimes not seen as being objective or carry as much weight as a professional caregiver.  Therefore it may be easier on everyone if the caregiver steps in at times to advise the patient rather than a family member.

Finding a caregiver

Before you choose a caregiver, you should determine the range of services you want so that you are making a decision that covers your predetermined needs.  Consider the following:

Make a list of daily activities: By reviewing the activities of a typical day of the patient you will be able to determine the specific duties required.  It helps to create a timeline of activities so that you plan for meals, naps and regular appointments.

Assess the degree of specialty: If the patient suffers from any degree of dementia or physical disability make sure you look for a caregiver with appropriate knowledge and experience.

Determine the need for meal preparation: Not only should you make a choice for a caregiver on their ability to prepare meals if necessary, but also their understanding and ability to create diet-specific meal choices.

Once you have your specific needs list refined, go to the following resources to be connected to the appropriate pool of caregivers to begin your interview process.

Additional resources:

www.caregiverlist.com

www.caregiver.com

10 Caregiver Questions

To make the most of your time during the interviewing process, conduct preliminary interviews on the phone rather than starting with in-person appointments.  Describe the job in detail along with the required hours needed and wages available.  If you feel the applicant may be a good match based on their experience and ability to provide references, then schedule the in-person interview.  It is a good idea to have another family member or friend participate in the interview to provide an objective perspective.  Finding that great match may be easier with a second opinion.

In preparation for the interview, create a list of questions pertinent to the job description.  Ask questions relevant to the caregiver’s experience and expertise surrounding the daily activities list you previously created.

1. Where have you worked before?
2. What were your duties?
3. What type of patient medical limitations have you worked with in the past?
4. What is your experience cooking for other people (including dietary restrictions)?
5. Is there anything in the job description that you are uncomfortable doing?
6. Have you had to deal with a patient emergency in the past?
7. Can you keep track of and administer medications?
8. Would you be able to transfer someone from a wheelchair into a car or into a bed?
9. How do you feel about caring for a disabled person? Or a person with memory problems?
10. Can I contact at least two work-related and one personal reference?

If you need a template for a caregiver interview, download this form as a guide:

http://www.agis.com/Document/38/professional-caregiver-interview-form.aspx

Once you narrow down your field of applicants, make sure you observe the applicant’s interactions with your family member on a casual basis before making a decision.  If your family member is able, he or she should be included in the interview process and in making the final decision.

Consider the person most qualified for the job and with whom you feel most comfortable. Always check the references of at least two final applicants. Good applicants may have more than one opportunity at a time, so don’t wait too long before proceeding with an offer.

I just read an interesting article in US News & World Report.  Entitled How Providing Elder Care Affects Your Job Security, the article spoke about the workplace inflexibility people face when caring for parents versus that of their children.

Employees providing eldercare say they have significantly less access to the flexible work options needed to fulfill their work and personal needs, compared to employees caring for a child under age 18 and workers not providing dependent care, according to a survey of more than 2,200 employees ages 17 to 81 by the Sloan Center on Aging & Work at Boston College. That’s because many flexible schedules were designed with the parents of young children in mind, according to Marcie Pitt-Catsouphes, the study principal and head of the Sloan Center on Aging & Work. “Many of those polices were developed in the late 80s and 90s in reaction to the increase in the number of women, particularly women with young children, in the workforce.” Eldercare doesn’t always conveniently fit into the same mold.

In my opinion, much of the work and life stress associated with elder care has to do with our inability to build padding  into our schedules. As professionals, it’s easy to fall into the trap whereby our schedules are 100% allocated.  But that leaves us unavailable for emergencies, especially as they related to our loved ones.  If you plan at 80% capacity, it is far easier to address emergencies as they present themselves.  It’s also easy to reallocate that time to your “to-do” list if it becomes clear that your day or week will be uneventful.  And if an emergency does occur, you can calmly deal with it without negatively impacting your professional commitments.

The other thing we neglect to do is to create a support network. These are groups of friends and family members who can help you complete specific tasks such as picking up the kids, dropping on prescriptions, etc. Support networks are critical in elder care because a micro-contribution by many people creates a fantastic experience for your loved one, while simultaneously creating a stress-free existence for you.

Finally, I recommend a frank discussion with your employer to inform them of your situation and to reiterate your commitment to accomplishing your work objectives. The reality is that many professions now don’t require you to be in the office to accomplish your job.  Things like Blackberries, call forwarding, etc are great tools for working remotely.  By proactively discussing your circumstances with your employer, you are more likely to have the flexibility you need to handle both responsibilities.

Having lived this challenge when my mother had her stroke, I learned the hard way that regardless of the time management tools you use, unless you build padding into your scheduled, something stressful will always come up.  In the By Families, For Families Guide to Assisted Living, I write the chapter “Making Room for Priorities” to address this topic and provide the stress-reduction and time-management tips that most people don’t think about when their family members additional care.

I am excited to share some thoughts today, because they are driven by a question I received from a colleague of mine. She asked, “I remember when we worked together, your mom was in that skilled nursing place in San Diego. What made you move her to assisted living?”

My answer: People rise to the challenge.

To be fair, this isn’t my quote. I heard these words for the first time after visiting many, many facilities. The source of the quote was a woman by the name of Andrea, and she was the admissions director where my mom currently lives. It is to Andrea that I owe an enormous debt of gratitude for making my mom and my life all the better. (If you’re reading this, Andrea, thank you!)

Rewind back to December 2005. My mom had been in skilled nursing for more than five months. For those that don’t know, skilled nursing is a mix between a hospital and an apartment. Patients usually share a room, and nearly all require treatments from a registered nurse. While my mom was there, one of her roommates passed away and several others were taken to the hospital. They did not return.

After driving 120 miles round trip, 4-5 times a week, usually after a full day at work, I decided to move my mom closer to me. I asked the head nurse for a care recommendation. She recommended skilled nursing.

She went so far as to tell me that my mom would likely be permanently bedridden and that I should explore hospice. Having been young and inexperienced about any of these things, I started looking for skilled nursing facilities closer to my home in Orange County.

By chance, I called one assisted living facility and a woman answered the phone. It was Andrea.

She convinced me that my mom had no medical necessity for skilled nursing. Sure, she had problems walking, but that was a physical therapy issue. She told me something repeatedly, and I’ll always remember the words.

People rise to the challenge. You just have let them.

So I reviewed my mom’s medical records with her doctor, the assisted living facility, the physical therapist and Andrea. It was a go! My mom was going to need a lot of help, but I was convinced that she would rise to the challenge. She had her whole life.

I’ll always remember the ride there. Since my mom needed to be lifted (yes, lifted) into a wheelchair, driving my car was not an option. So I rented a shuttle, and my mom and I rode a little over an hour in the back of a wheelchair-accessible Super Shuttle (yes, the ones you take to the airport).

She was scared. I was scared. But in my heart I knew she could do it.

When she first entered assisted living, she couldn’t walk. In fact, she couldn’t roll herself out of bed. She needed two people to literally pick her up and put her in a chair.

Within a year, she could walk the hallways with a walker, walk to dinner, come over to my house for BBQs, get in and out of a car, and resume some normalcy in her life. In fact, last month she got featured in her physical therapist’s brochure. I guess she’s a testimonial for hard work and good P.T.

Why the long story?
The details of the story are important. It’s human nature to fight, struggle and be determined. And regardless of your age, most people respond to the challenges they face. In the case of my mom, it was walking. In the case of your parent, it may be something else.

Even when you feel least in control, sometimes you just have to let go.

I learned a good lesson that with a little support, people rise to the occasion…if you let them.

I’ve love to hear you, if you’d like to share.

At lunch this week, a co-worker overheard me talking to my mom’s caregiver. When I hung up, he asked me, “What exactly does a caregiver do?” While at first I thought the answer to be pretty obvious, I realized it is more complex.

I learned over the last few years that the right caregiver can do far more than provide care.

My mom’s caregiver plays a number of different roles, including:

• A friend. Just like having a roommate, the caregiver and your loved one will spend a lot of time together. And just like a roommate, a caregiver and your loved one can become great friends (or not, but that’s a different discussion). My mom and her caregiver have become very good friends, going to events together, watching movies together and chatting like good friends do. At many times, the “caregiver” side of their relationship is minimized, and they are friends. This is a good thing!

• A listener. The transition to assisted living can be difficult for many people. You’ve probably read my mom’s story. It was especially difficult for her to move from being so independent to becoming so dependent. Caregivers can be great listeners and counselors. In many cases, their experience gives them a far greater understanding of these challenges than you, and they can be a great resource for your loved one to talk through the issues.

• A cheerleader. It can be tough to get motivated for the activities of the day, physical or occupational therapy or just to get out of pajamas in the morning. It’s often tough for all of us. Caregivers can serve as a great cheerleader, giving pep talks when necessary to get out and enjoy the activities of the day.

• A big brother or sister. Often in assisted living, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. A caregiver can be the first line of defense to ensure your loved one gets what they need, when they need it.

For families, caregivers can play a whole different set of important roles, including:

• Your eyes and ears. While I am lucky enough to live close to my mom, many families live far away from their loved ones. A caregiver can be your eyes and ears about general care, food, services, activities and all the other daily things. They can also share with you the reality of things, as sometimes situations can get exaggerated. Being defensive as we are, it’s good to get both sides of the story before you approach management with a complaint. Example: sometimes my mom thinks I am overprotective, so I stay in touch with her caregiver to make sure things are okay while at the same time giving my mom her space.

• A concierge. It takes a lot of coordination to get your loved one to activities, doctor appointments, beauty appointments, therapy, etc. Each one of these things requires phone calls, follow up, etc. A caregiver can help to off-load much of these from you and help manage your loved ones daily weekly and monthly calendar.

• An influencer. As close as you may be with your loved one, there will always be certain topics or issues in which your opinions are not appreciated. Example: my mom hates going to the doctor. No matter what I say, she gets defensive and doesn’t listen. Because of her own experience, she has a general disdain for doctors and hospitals. A caregiver can be an alternative communication channel, based on a different type of trust and many of the roles above, and they can be effective at helping to open them up to a different point of view.

There are more, but these are some of the big ones.

It took us a while to find the right caregiver (good topic for a future post), but once we did, the results have been outstanding. My mom is happy, things are smoother, and all is less stressful.

What roles have caregivers played for you?