Have you ever wondered whether there are other people out there like you, balancing caregiving for an elder or disabled loved one with a full or part-time job?  New Gallup research sponsored by Pfizer and ReACT (Respect A Caregiver’s Time) provides demographic information about U.S. workers who are also caregivers.

To answer the question above, you are not alone. An estimated 17 percent of U.S. workers do double-duty as caregivers for elderly or disabled loved ones or friends. Overall, 16 percent of working men and 20 percent of working women are also caregivers. The majority of these caregivers (22 percent) are between the ages of 45 and 64 years old. The age group least represented as both workers and caregivers are 18 to 29 years old.

Infographic from Gallup Management Journal.

Caregivers are represented in every major demographic group, with 17 percent of  working whites, 21 percent of working blacks and 20 percent of working Hispanics also providing care. The research shows a correlation between income, education and caregiving. As income level and education level increase, the propensity for a worker to also be a caregiver decreases.

What is the Cost of Caregiving?
The intention of the Gallup research is to highlight how effective U.S. employers are in addressing caregiver needs and what the hidden costs of caregivers missing work are to those employers.

Infographic from Gallup Management Journal.

Below are some findings about the types of benefits working caregivers receive and the cost of caregiving:

• Less than half of U.S. employees have access to assistance programs where they can discuss any emotional stress that comes along with balancing caregiving and their jobs.
• Only 27 percent of U.S. workers who are also caregivers have access to support groups or health counselors who can answer any questions about providing care.

Gallup also takes a look at how each type of initiative, from vacation days to flex time and counseling, can impact caregiver absenteeism. Organizations that provide counseling to discuss caregiving options such as assisted living and nursing homes, may see an improvement of 1.2 fewer work days a year missed by caregivers. Support groups will reduce caregiver absenteeism by 1.1 days a year, and paid vacation by one day a year. All of the other options, including unpaid vacation, sick leave and flex time, will make an impact of less than one day per year in a caregiver’s schedule.

Conclusions
Studying ten benefits for caregivers who work full or part time, Gallup finds that if U.S. employers offer at least 8 of these 10 caregiver benefits, it can reduce the cost of caregiver absenteeism by 23 percent of its current level, or $5.8 billion dollars.

The research concludes by offering suggestions for small, medium and large businesses about caregiver initiatives that can have the most positive impact on employees and the bottom line. To review the complete findings, visit Gallup’s Management Journal.

Photo credit: Images_of_Money

I want to share a story that serves as an important lesson that many of us already know, but we’d likely forget under the stress of caring for a loved one. The story starts with a single sentence that forever changed my mom’s life: “People rise to the challenge.”

This isn’t my quote. To be fair, I heard these words for the first time after visiting many, many skilled nursing facilities. The source of the quote was a woman by the name of Andrea Arambula, and she was the admissions director at Belmont Village (formerly Crown Cove). It is to Andrea that I owe an enormous debt of gratitude. Andrea, if you are reading this, thank you!!!

Rewind back to December 2005. My mom had been in skilled nursing for more than five months. As dicussed in the previous blog post, skilled nursing is a mix between a hospital and an apartment. Patients usually share a room, and nearly all require treatments from a registered nurse. While my mom was there, one of her roommates passed away and several others were taken to the hospital. They did not return. While some are in skilled nursing for a short stay, many have declined to the point where it is required.

After driving 120 miles round trip, 4-5 times a week, usually after a full day at work, I decided to move my mom closer to me. I asked the head nurse for a care recommendation. She recommended skilled nursing.

She went so far as to tell me that my mom would likely be permanently bedridden, and that I should explore hospice. At the time, I was 34 years old and knew no better than to take her advice at face value. I started looking for skilled nursing facilities closer to my home in Orange County.

By chance, I called one assisted living facility and a woman answered the phone. It was Andrea.
She convinced me that my mom had no medical necessity for skilled nursing. Sure, she had problems walking, but that was a physical therapy issue. She told me something repeatedly, and I’ll always remember the words. People rise to the challenge. You just have to let them.

So I reviewed my mom’s medical records with her doctor, the assisted living community, the physical therapist and Andrea. It was a go! My mom was going to need a lot of help, but I was convinced that she would rise to the challenge.

I’ll always remember the ride there. Since my mom needed to be lifted (yes, lifted) into a wheelchair, driving my car was not an option. So I rented a shuttle, and my mom and I rode a little over an hour in the back of a wheelchair- accessible Super Shuttle (yes, the ones you take to the airport).

She was scared. I was scared. But in my heart I knew she could do it. When she first entered assisted living, she couldn’t walk. In fact, she couldn’t roll herself out of bed. She needed two people to literally pick her up and put her in a chair.

Within a year, she could walk the hallways with a walker, walk to dinner, come over to my house for BBQs, get in and out of a car, and resume some normalcy in her life. In fact, she even got featured in her physical therapist’s brochure. I guess she’s a testimonial for hard work and good physical therapy.

Each time my mother passed a new milestone, I thought of the skilled nursing recommendation and urging to explore hospice. And each time I smiled about the progress my mom made.

Why the long story? The details of the story are important. It’s human nature to fight, struggle and be determined. And regardless of your age, most people respond to the challenges they face. In the case of my mom, it was walking. In the case of your loved one, it may be something else.

So while I learned from Andrea that people rise to the occasion. I learned from mom that you have to let them.

So trust in your loved one. Trust in yourself. And I know you’ll find that you can both rise to the occasion. Perhaps – and most likely — there will be tears along the way, but there will be many wonderful moments of warmth and laughter, too.

Photo Credit: Vick the Viking

Chances are that, to some degree, you been a family caregiver for your loved one for some time now. To one degree or another, you’ve been tending to their needs: taking frequent phone calls, grocery shopping with (or without) them, and performing chores around their home.

Whether you are the child, sibling, or the spouse of your loved one, you’ll be feeling the emotional and physical strain of the role you’re playing. There’s an uncomfortable shift in the dynamics between you.

If you’re the child, you’ve become a parent of sorts. If you’re the spouse, you’re forced into a new and often unwelcome level of intimacy. And, if you’re a sibling, it’s imperative that your decisions not be clouded by childhood memories or resentments.

Being aware of these shifts in roles and responsibilities is the first step in self- care for the caregiver (that’s you, remember). The second step could be to seek support and assistance. One great resources is National Caregiver Support Groups. These groups can put you in touch with their local chapters. In addition, you can get information regarding support groups in your area from local nursing homes or eldercare agencies.

The Effects of Caregiver Stress

Dealing with the health problems of someone you love naturally produces stress in your life. It can wear you down, both emotionally, and physically.

I mentioned in my opening story that at one point in my mother’s illness, I was driving hundreds of miles each week to visit her in the hospital or skilled nursing facility. My mother’s condition was the result of a sudden event – which is different from the lingering decline described as part of the assessment process. With such a dramatic event comes shock, guilt and acute sorrow.

The time spent on the road gave me hours to think about how things could have been different; the traveling to and from her bedside took time away from my work, and my relationships. The stress of my mother’s illness was dominating my life and had manifested itself in many ways.

Stress manifests itself in three ways: physically, cognitively and emotionally. Below is a list of stress symptoms. Looking back at that period in my life, I realize stress has manifested itself in many of those symptoms.

Physical Symptoms

• Headaches
• Sore back / stiff neck
• Teethgrinding
• Sexual dysfunction
• Heart palpitations
• Restlessness
• Shortness of breath
• Heartburn
• Diarrhea/constipation
• Jumpiness
• Chronicinsomnia

Cognitive Issues

• Difficulty in making decisions
• Decreased problem-solving ability
• Obsessive thinking
• Short-term memory loss
• Decreased concentration
• Drop in organization skills
• Limited attention span

Emotional Signs

• Loss of interest in hobbies or recreational activities
• Frequent crying or tearfulness
• Persistent sadness or depression
• Irritability
• Chronic anxiety

Are you currently suffering from one or more of these symptoms of caregiver stress? I’m not surprised! Even in the early stages in dealing with the chronic health issues of a loved one – whether parent, sibling or spouse – you’ll find that you’ve become (more or less) tolerant of many of these manifestations of stress.

What I’ve learned is simple: taking care of yourself is essential to the well-being of your loved one. Here’s a short list of some of the things you can do to support yourself during the coming weeks:

Seek support from others. Turn to your loved one’s neighbors and friends; or other family members. They may be able to spend a few hours caregiving while you run errands, or even just take a short nap. Don’t feel you have to do it all alone!

Find a way to release your emotions. If you’ve got a pastor, spiritual advisor, close friend, or a therapist – someone you can trust 100% – be sure to reach out to them. They will be able to listen to you lovingly, and keep what you tell them to themselves.

Take time for yourself. If you like to walk on the beach, go shopping, take your dog to the park, or simply go see a movie – do it! Do not procrastinate on this: taking time for simple pleasures every day is critical to your well-being.

Simplify your life. Ask yourself this question: What can I let go of right now? Maybe you shouldn’t tackle new projects at work; maybe you should let go of hunting for that new house – whatever you can put ‘on the back burner,’ now is the time to do just that.

Avoid excessive alcohol or drugs. Ah, the temptations of self-medication. Don’t give into them. It’s not the wise path; ultimately, the care you are trying to provide suffers, and you’re less able to take care of the other things in life. Your job, marriage or parenting duties will suffer. That’s why I highly recommend the next tip:

Continue or begin an exercise program. It’s been clearly proven: aerobic exercise causes the brain to produce endorphins, which are your body’s natural way to enhance your mood and relieve your stress. Find a way to build regular exercise into your week: walk, run, practice T’ai chi; go bowling or play a round of golf with friends. Note: Always check with your doctor before beginning a new exercise program!

Do yoga. Yoga can be a fantastic stress reliever which providing a great deal of exercise and better flexibility. I cannot recommend Yoga enough, as it alone helps me reduce my stress level and irritability. A note for the men reading this book: Yoga can be hard work, very challenging and a great way to relax and build muscle. Don’t think Yoga is effeminate or too easy!

In the wonderful book, When Someone You Love Needs Nursing Home Care, the authors, Robert Bornstein and Mary Languirand help their readers to build a long-term plan, based on six principles:

• Plan ahead. It may be a difficult subject to broach with your loved one, but planning ahead provides them with the opportunity to fully participate in the decision-making process.
• Get advice. Don’t discount the value of speaking with those people who have been down this same road. Join a support group (online or offline), and speak with doctors, nurses and health care professionals. When it’s financial or legal advice you need, turn to attorneys and accountants.
• Get others involved. Share the workload with family members, co- workers, and friends. Remember they care about you, and would love to help when they can – so don’t hesitate to ask!
• Keep colleagues informed. Those people in your workplace need to be taken into your confidence; they’ll want to know why you’re frequently absent from your desk, or unable to take on additional work.
• Take care of yourself. We’ve already touched upon ‘self-care’ as being critical not only to your well-being but to the well-being of your loved one as well.
• Put things in perspective – and keep them there! Short-term thinking (“Things are falling apart and will never get better”) is a trap. As I’ve learned so clearly, people grow through adversity, and you’ll never be able to know just how this growth will manifest itself. Remember that change is inevitable…“this too shall pass.”

Photo Credit: lululemon athletica.

With elder care, there are rarely black and white answers to your concerns. Do you believe that your loved one is exhibiting behaviors that indicate their inability to perform basic or complex tasks? If you find yourself answering “yes,” then you should consider a geriatric screening for your loved one. You can arrange for a geriatric screening through your local hospital or social service agency.

To have a productive conversation with the healthcare worker or elder care provider, be sure to gather enough information about your loved one’s medical condition, legal status and personal preferences.

What is Geriatric Screening?

A geriatric screening is a comprehensive assessment designed to optimize an older person’s ability to enjoy good health, improve their overall quality of life, reduce the need for hospitalization and/or institutionalization, and enable them to live independently for as long as possible. An assessment consists of the following steps:

1. An examination of the older person’s current status in terms of:

• Their physical, mental, and psycho-social health

• Their ability to function well and to independently perform the basic activities of daily living such as dressing, bathing meal preparation, medication management, etc.

• Their living arrangements, their social network, and their access to support services.

2. An identification of current problems or anticipated future problems in any of these areas.

3. The development of a comprehensive “Care Plan” which addresses all problems identified, suggests specific interventions or actions required, and makes specific recommendations regarding resources needed to provide the necessary support services.

4. The management of a successful linkage between these resources, the older person and that person’s family so that provision of the necessary services is assured.

5. An ongoing monitoring of the extent to which this linkage has or has not addressed the problems identified, and modification of the Care Plan as needed.

Who Performs a Geriatric Screening?

A geriatric screening can be done in many different settings such as:

• a hospital
• a nursing home
• an outpatient clinic
• a physician’s office
• the patient’s home

Because a geriatric screening is so comprehensive in scope, it can only be successfully conducted by a multi-disciplinary team of experts. This team might include:

• physicians
• ancillary personnel
• social workers
• physical and/or occupational therapists
• dieticians
• psychologists
• pharmacists
• geriatric nurse practitioners

You can request a referral for a geriatric screening from a primary care physician. Also, check with any large hospital or university to see whether they have a geriatric assessment unit.

For more information on geriatric screenings, I recommend you review The Geriatric Patient: A Systematic Approach to Maintaining Health. This article by the American Association of Family Physicians provides a detailed review of the standardized assessment tools typically used in an outpatient setting.

Photo Credit: simaje.

Eighty-four percent of Americans over the age of 50 expect an immediate family member to move into a senior living community within the next 10 years, while 24 percent over the age of 65 expect the same for themselves, according to a new national survey of American attitudes on assisted living released today by the Coalition to Protect Choice in Senior Living (CPCSL). The poll found just more than half (51 percent) expect their parents to live in a senior living community within 10 years, with 15 percent expecting the same for their spouse and 10 percent for a sibling.

My Story

I’d like to briefly share the story of the event that started me on this path. I imagine it’s similar to your own in that it begins with an unexpected phone call.

My wife and I had just returned from celebrating our engagement in Greece, and we were sharing stories over bowling with some good friends.

I was the product of a second marriage, and my mom and I had become quite close since my father’s passing while I was in high school. We spoke often, so I wasn’t surprised when my cell phone rang and the caller ID showed it was her.
I was surprised when I answered and it was the paramedics.

Apparently, my mother called 411 asking for my name and phone number as she could not remember it. The operator called 911, and in a matter of minutes, they had arrived, kicked down the door and called me.

My mother had a stroke. I was only 33, and totally unprepared for the depth of emotions, or the complexity of the decisions I was about to face.

That a 73-year old woman had a stroke is not unusual. My mom’s case was unique because of the series of complications that nearly killed her. In the eighteen months following her stroke, she endured major back surgery to remove a staph infection from her spine, a perforated intestine that required stomach surgery, several MRSA infections1 requiring IV antibiotics and a broken hip. She spent several weeks in the surgical intensive care unit recovering from her back surgery. Many of these nights, I feared the worst. But my mom is a fighter.

The medical system these days isn’t designed for long-term recovery. Hospital personnel are highly trained at treating acute problems and dealing with specific injuries and conditions. In fact, we have some of the most skilled doctors in the world.

But when you’re older and recovering from a serious illness, your options are usually to go home, or go to a skilled nursing facility – where staff can provide physical or occupational therapy, administer IVs and perform other functions requiring a registered nurse.

During this time, she spent nearly six months moving back and forth between the hospital and skilled nursing. In January of 2006, I moved Mom from San Diego to Orange County. She graduated from skilled nursing and was on her way to assisted living.

Trust, Hope and Hard Work

When Mom arrived in assisted living, she could not stand or walk and required a 24-hour caregiver. She could not eat or drink on her own and was in a deep state of depression.

While I found much advice on medical conditions and treatment, I found virtually nothing on understanding assisted living. Sure, there were some Websites that taught you the basics, like “make sure a nurse is on duty” or “make sure the kitchen is clean.” But this is my mom and I wanted far better for her. I wasn’t putting her away; I was playing a key role in her recovery.

Because of the lessons I learned – and a lot of hard work on the part of my mother – she is doing very well. In fact, we’ve become very close friends. She walks with a walker; her memories are clear and vibrant. She has a circle of friends and a packed calendar.

She even made it to my wedding. And she looked beautiful. I cried. They say your wedding toast is one of the most important speaking opportunities you’ll ever have. And I consider myself to be a good public speaker, routinely speaking at tradeshows and other events. But when I looked into the crowd and saw my mother smiling, I fell apart.

The joy I felt at seeing her on that special day was overwhelming. So was my commitment to her continued well being. It was my clear intention that she be given every opportunity in her assisted living situation to thrive, to grow, and to be fulfilled.

Recall the statistics at the beginning of the chapter. While I was shocked these numbers were so high, I completely agree. I did some homework. In an informal study of about 40 people, I sensed an almost inevitability about needing assisted living. I also found that financial issues and quality of care topped the list of concerns for both Baby Boomers and their children.

I followed up my informal study with a formal study of nearly 200 families. The Assisted Living Family Attitude and Preparedness Report showed that 75% of respondents believed a friend or family member would soon require assisted living. The report is free to anyone who wants to read it and can be accessed at the link above.

My goal is to share with you some of what I learned through my journey. My hope is that these lessons can make it easier for you and your mom, dad, relative or loved one. I assume you’re reading this blog because you or a loved is considering assisted living. Since you likely haven’t gone through it before, the decisions can be overwhelming. I’ve written this blog to help you make more informed decisions, and to be calm in what is likely to be an emotional storm. I sincerely hope I can help you avoid some of the pitfalls of learning the assisted living ropes.

While a move to assisted living may initially be seen as negative, I know first- hand that with some careful and thoughtful planning, you can make it a huge positive for all concerned. Over the last several years, my relationship with my mother has strengthened. She has become one of my best friends and an integral part of my life.

I hope you enjoy reading this blog and that I’m able to somehow make your journey a bit easier.

Photo Credit: andrewmalone.

This is a guest post from Susan B. Schaffer, the oldest of three daughters of Beatrice Belopolsky, of Burlington. Susan can be reached at schaffersb@gmail.com.

My mother was my best friend. As she approached 90 years old in excellent health, I occasionally wondered how this woman, who continued to live life with such fierce independence, would eventually leave this earth.

The matriarch of a family of three daughters, she had continued living a full life after being widowed 30 years before. She served actively on community boards, lent a hand with her six grandchildren whenever she could, and traveled the world in her unique style. She was a source of wisdom, in a quiet, commonsense way, and yet remarkably she remained completely open to learning from others. She was ageless, fitting into any group, not as a fifth-wheel elderly parent, but as a contemporary who was interested in others, happy to meet new people and have new experiences.

And so in January 2009, when Mom suddenly began reporting vague aches and pains and her typically sharp reasoning became somewhat fuzzy, I was concerned by the uncharacteristic behavior and sudden signs that she was slipping, both physically and mentally. We began the search, through a series of medical appointments, to determine the cause of these sudden changes.

In April, she was diagnosed with squamous cell cancer of the mouth. Eventually, after meeting with Mom, hearing about her active life, and looking at her blood tests, which were remarkably normal, Mom and her oncology team agreed that concurrent radiation treatment with antibody therapy was a reasonable option. Mom was realistic. She knew the treatment might not work, but she “had to give it a try.”

After two difficult months of radiation and chemo, the treatments ended on her 88th birthday. We all looked forward to Mom’s regaining her strength and her humor, but she didn’t rebound as quickly as we had hoped.

After Labor Day, we learned that the treatment had not worked; the cancer had spread and her life expectancy was now measured in months. It was the only time throughout the ordeal that I saw Mom cry. She told me that she was not afraid to die, but she was afraid of the pain and suffering to come. She wanted to be in control of her life and was thinking about whether she could just stop eating, but feared that would be just as painful.

I felt torn, wanting to hang onto every remaining minute of her time with us, but understanding her dilemma. I suggested that she discuss her options with my husband, Elliott, a family doctor and geriatrician.

Mom and Elliott had a long talk, and Elliott shared information with her about people who forgo food and water – that not only do they not experience increased pain or hunger, but in fact generally those people enjoy a peaceful death with little or no suffering. Mom decided that this was the course she wanted to take, but she was not ready to stop taking nourishment just yet.

Once Mom’s closest friends and family heard about her prognosis, they all arranged to visit her. She quietly and individually met with her brother and each of her six grandchildren and their significant others. She smiled as her great-grandsons rolled around on her bed. The morning after saying her goodbyes to her loved ones, Mom quietly informed her daughters that she was ready to stop eating and drinking.

Her choice itself was not a surprise, but the timing was a shock. We quickly arranged for one of us or an aide to be with her at all times, expecting her strength to fail precipitously. Each morning, I would approach her apartment with trepidation, wondering how much closer to death Mom had traveled overnight.

Amazingly, I found that each day Mom’s spirits grew lighter and more peaceful. There was an immediate and dramatic change the day after Mom made her choice. It was as if she realized that she no longer had to struggle – that she had taken control – and she found comfort in that.

The stream of friends and family continued, and Mom would doze lightly between visits. The rabbi came to visit and came back to chat with her each day thereafter. At first we thought we should protect her from so many visitors – that it would tire her too much – but then we asked ourselves, “Protect her for what?” She was always cheerful during these visits – nostalgic about her life and relationships – and open to discuss her decision, which almost everyone found somewhat shocking.

At the end of the first week, Mom was so comfortable that she wondered, “When is something going to happen?” We assured her that it generally takes no more than two weeks for a body to slip away without food and water. Mom continued to deny feeling any hunger. She did express appreciation for the few sips of water that she took with her pain medication; we soothed her dry mouth with a spray that helped replace saliva, and that seemed to satisfy her.

At no time in the days that passed did Mom appear to be suffering. She lived those last days with a tremendous grace that touched everyone who was privileged to spend time with her. We talked about death; she was clearly not afraid of dying. She frequently smiled and acknowledged what a good life she had lived. Mom expressed curiosity about what she would experience after death and whether she would see her parents or her husband, but then quickly dismissed her curiosity with a cheerful acceptance of her fate.

On Day 11, Mom became less responsive. On Day 12 she peacefully slipped away.

Mom taught us much at her life’s end and particularly in those last 12 days. Witnessing her grace, her humor, her wisdom, and her compassion for all whom she touched in the extraordinary circumstance of her passing was an experience that I will never forget. Seeing her take control of her death, much as she had of her life, was empowering to everyone who was with her and who heard of the circumstances of her death. I am so proud to be her daughter.

Is this the picture you had of retirement?

I’m referring to the one on the left!

Are you checking in on your elderly parents living at home? Is one parent more mobile than the other and caring for their spouse? If so, how is this affecting the health of the caregiver? Regardless of who the caregiver is, the additional burden can easily drain all of their reserves. Then everyone’s safety and health may be at risk.

A lot of attention has been given to medical assistance for our frail seniors that is available at home, as well as assisted living facilities of all types. The public may not be aware of an entire industry of in-home, non-medical care that is available today.

If you are checking on elderly family members at home: Has the house and the refrigerator had a good cleaning lately? Are they eating healthy? Are the bills paid on time?  Is bathing a safety concern?  Are menial chores such as shopping, cooking, laundry, and housecleaning a challenge?

The caregiver may expend all their energy completing these tasks with no energy or time left for doing the things they enjoy. If money wasn’t an issue, would you hire help? Would there be more time for everyone to enjoy life together? I’ll bet this is the case. All these services are now available in the home.

Ryan Malone’s new book: “Saving Money on Senior Care: How to Make Aging Affordable” discusses many issues impacting families’ ability to pay for senior care and takes a no-nonsense approach to educate you on the six most impactful options: reverse mortgages, VA benefits, life settlements, Medicare planning, long-term care insurance and the unique senior line of credit.

Money is available to pay for in-home care, especially for those who are “house rich and cash poor.” In 1989, a government program was created to enable seniors to stay in their home by paying them for the equity in their home. The upside to this program is that there are no credit or income requirements and no mortgage payments. Yes, it’s a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage (HECM or Reverse Mortgage). It’s called a Reverse Mortgage because it pays you. This program has changed a lot over the years and I have seen it change people’s lives. It can ease financial strain and relieve concerns about losing the home. The loans are FHA insured, non-recourse loans. That means if the home is sold and sales proceeds are insufficient to pay the amount owed, FHA will pay the lender the amount of the shortfall.

Four important points about this safe, Government program:

1)      The bank does NOT keep the title to the home

2)      There are no mortgage payments

3)      Stay in the home as long as you want to and can

¨       It must be the primary residence

¨       Must pay homeowner’s insurance and property taxes; maintain the property

4)      The loan is paid off with proceeds from the home sale

¨       FHA insures the loan and pays the lender any shortfall

For more information and a calculator:

http://www.hud.gov/offices/hsg/sfh/hecm/hecmabou.cfm

A free booklet from The National Council on Aging:
“Use Your Home to Stay at Home: A Guide for Older Homeowners Who Need Help Now”

Now, what would you do with the extra time and the money you may have had to pay for care?

About the Author: Linda Lewis is a reverse mortgage specialist with FutureSafe Financial Corporation and lives in California.  You can follow Linda at her website at www.ReverseWithLinda.com.

There are many gratifying benefits of volunteering at any age. The helper’s high–a good feeling one receives from helping others–can be experienced by anyone.  But it is probably a feeling more appreciated by an older person. Think about it, a retiree who has had a lifetime of work and experience behind them must feel good when they can use that previous knowledge to improve the life of another individual.

Sociologist Erik Erikson theorized that all people go through the same life stages. He labeled middle adulthood as anyone being 40-64 years old.  He labeled this stage of life Generativity vs Stagnation. All of Erikson’s stages involved two opposing possible outcomes at odds with each other. Generativity means  the person feels they have produced something of value to leave behind. Stagnation means the person feels that they haven’t produced anything of value or significance and when they leave this world, they would be forgotten. Simply having children doesn’t bring about generativity.

During the Generativity vs Stagnation stage, people are questioning “Will I produce something of value?” To achieve generativity a person needs to give back to society, and volunteering is a great way to do that.

Benefits for society from seniors volunteering

There are numerous societal benefits in having seniors volunteer in our communities. They have helped out by providing compassion to  visitors for people in hospitals. Retired teachers have helped out younger generations by tutoring them after school. Professionals of all kinds donate their time and services after retirement. This give back mentality has carried then national when times are tough.

WECARE: Seniors Helping Seniors

WECARE stands for Working to Enhance the Care and Resources for our Elders. It is a non-profit program funded by the Americorps and California State University, Fullerton. The idea behind WECARE is to have seniors help other seniors. Today, college students and baby boomers work together to improve the lives of seniors in the Orange Country community. Doing everything from healthy living classes, friendly visits, care giving, etc., WECARE rescues or creates community programs to enable seniors to age in place. Americorps also provides living stipends for their members.

For more information about WECARE please email Ashiya Kerr, volunteer coordinator at akerr@fulllerton.edu . To find out more information about Americorps please visit www.americorps.gov.

Photo credit: San Jose Library

About the Author: Ryan Malone is the founder of InsideElder Care and author of the ByFamilies, For Families Guide to Assisted Living. He regularly speaks and advises families about how to improve their aging loved one’s quality of life. Ryan is also the president of SmartBug Media, a content marketing agency that helps companies increase leads, customers and influence. You can read more from Ryan on the SmartBug Media blog or follow him on Twitter.

The title of caregiver is not as obvious as it may seem.  Caregivers can aid in eldercare on many different levels and depending on your needs their roles can provide key benefits.

Benefits of caregivers

Your eyes and ears: Whether you live close by or far away, a caregiver can observe and update you on areas of nutrition, hygiene, activity level, services and other daily issues.

A concierge: Scheduling and staying current with weekly and monthly activities such as doctor’s visits, shopping, hair appointments, and therapy requires phone calls and follow up.  Allow the caregiver to take some of this off or your mind and your to-do list.

An influencer: Communication and opinions by close family members are sometimes not seen as being objective or carry as much weight as a professional caregiver.  Therefore it may be easier on everyone if the caregiver steps in at times to advise the patient rather than a family member.

Finding a caregiver

Before you choose a caregiver, you should determine the range of services you want so that you are making a decision that covers your predetermined needs.  Consider the following:

Make a list of daily activities: By reviewing the activities of a typical day of the patient you will be able to determine the specific duties required.  It helps to create a timeline of activities so that you plan for meals, naps and regular appointments.

Assess the degree of specialty: If the patient suffers from any degree of dementia or physical disability make sure you look for a caregiver with appropriate knowledge and experience.

Determine the need for meal preparation: Not only should you make a choice for a caregiver on their ability to prepare meals if necessary, but also their understanding and ability to create diet-specific meal choices.

Once you have your specific needs list refined, go to the following resources to be connected to the appropriate pool of caregivers to begin your interview process.

Additional resources:

www.caregiverlist.com

www.caregiver.com

10 Caregiver Questions

To make the most of your time during the interviewing process, conduct preliminary interviews on the phone rather than starting with in-person appointments.  Describe the job in detail along with the required hours needed and wages available.  If you feel the applicant may be a good match based on their experience and ability to provide references, then schedule the in-person interview.  It is a good idea to have another family member or friend participate in the interview to provide an objective perspective.  Finding that great match may be easier with a second opinion.

In preparation for the interview, create a list of questions pertinent to the job description.  Ask questions relevant to the caregiver’s experience and expertise surrounding the daily activities list you previously created.

1. Where have you worked before?
2. What were your duties?
3. What type of patient medical limitations have you worked with in the past?
4. What is your experience cooking for other people (including dietary restrictions)?
5. Is there anything in the job description that you are uncomfortable doing?
6. Have you had to deal with a patient emergency in the past?
7. Can you keep track of and administer medications?
8. Would you be able to transfer someone from a wheelchair into a car or into a bed?
9. How do you feel about caring for a disabled person? Or a person with memory problems?
10. Can I contact at least two work-related and one personal reference?

If you need a template for a caregiver interview, download this form as a guide:

http://www.agis.com/Document/38/professional-caregiver-interview-form.aspx

Once you narrow down your field of applicants, make sure you observe the applicant’s interactions with your family member on a casual basis before making a decision.  If your family member is able, he or she should be included in the interview process and in making the final decision.

Consider the person most qualified for the job and with whom you feel most comfortable. Always check the references of at least two final applicants. Good applicants may have more than one opportunity at a time, so don’t wait too long before proceeding with an offer.

I just read an interesting article in US News & World Report.  Entitled How Providing Elder Care Affects Your Job Security, the article spoke about the workplace inflexibility people face when caring for parents versus that of their children.

Employees providing eldercare say they have significantly less access to the flexible work options needed to fulfill their work and personal needs, compared to employees caring for a child under age 18 and workers not providing dependent care, according to a survey of more than 2,200 employees ages 17 to 81 by the Sloan Center on Aging & Work at Boston College. That’s because many flexible schedules were designed with the parents of young children in mind, according to Marcie Pitt-Catsouphes, the study principal and head of the Sloan Center on Aging & Work. “Many of those polices were developed in the late 80s and 90s in reaction to the increase in the number of women, particularly women with young children, in the workforce.” Eldercare doesn’t always conveniently fit into the same mold.

In my opinion, much of the work and life stress associated with elder care has to do with our inability to build padding  into our schedules. As professionals, it’s easy to fall into the trap whereby our schedules are 100% allocated.  But that leaves us unavailable for emergencies, especially as they related to our loved ones.  If you plan at 80% capacity, it is far easier to address emergencies as they present themselves.  It’s also easy to reallocate that time to your “to-do” list if it becomes clear that your day or week will be uneventful.  And if an emergency does occur, you can calmly deal with it without negatively impacting your professional commitments.

The other thing we neglect to do is to create a support network. These are groups of friends and family members who can help you complete specific tasks such as picking up the kids, dropping on prescriptions, etc. Support networks are critical in elder care because a micro-contribution by many people creates a fantastic experience for your loved one, while simultaneously creating a stress-free existence for you.

Finally, I recommend a frank discussion with your employer to inform them of your situation and to reiterate your commitment to accomplishing your work objectives. The reality is that many professions now don’t require you to be in the office to accomplish your job.  Things like Blackberries, call forwarding, etc are great tools for working remotely.  By proactively discussing your circumstances with your employer, you are more likely to have the flexibility you need to handle both responsibilities.

Having lived this challenge when my mother had her stroke, I learned the hard way that regardless of the time management tools you use, unless you build padding into your scheduled, something stressful will always come up.  In the By Families, For Families Guide to Assisted Living, I write the chapter “Making Room for Priorities” to address this topic and provide the stress-reduction and time-management tips that most people don’t think about when their family members additional care.