More Tips for Finding Assisted Living Communities

October 24, 2011 By 2 Comments

In a previous blog post, I discussed some of the early steps you can use to start creating a list of potential assisted living communities for your loved one.

Here are some more tips for finding potential communities and narrowing down the list to the right facility that your loved one can call home.

A recommendation from a friend or other reliable source about a community can go a long way in this early screening process. Don’t hesitate to ask around. After all, you’re about to begin a long and detailed journey – one that ultimately affects the happiness and general well-being of your loved one. It’s best to tap every resource you can!

As you begin to tour communities, your head will be racing with questions, reactions and things you notice from one community to the next. I recommend you buy a spiral notebook, writing questions and comments before and after you tour each community.

Deciding on the Right Assisted Living Community

After you tour a few communities, you’ll find the details blend together and your memories cease to different each tour. Some will eliminate themselves quickly. Some will make the final cut. In the end, you’ll need to rely on initial impressions and your notes to make that all-important decision on the community best for you and your family. Choosing the right assisted living community is a challenging task. Whether you are searching for yourself, a family member or a friend, you’ll want to make sure that the assisted living community is able to meet the physical and safety needs of the prospective resident.

At the time of her stroke, mom lived in North County San Diego – about 50 miles from me in Orange County. For almost 6 months after her original discharge, she went back and forth between skilled nursing and the hospital. At the time, it seemed like a good idea to keep her close to friends who could come and visit her while I was as at work. I was down to visit 4-5 times a week, mostly after what was a 50-60 hour work week.

Choosing the location of an assisted living community will likely be the most important decision you make. For anyone, a move away from familiar surroundings can be stressful experience. Combine that with the emotional drain of accepting assisted living, and it’s easy to imaging the challenge your loved one is facing. You’ll likely be leaned upon frequently during this difficult adjustment period.

Here are a few things to consider as you choose the location of the community:

Make the commute easy. During the first weeks and months of assisted living, you will likely be the closest friend and confident for your loved one. If at all possible, choose a location that is close to your home and/or other family members that can regularly visit without negatively impacting their own responsibilities. Your loved one will look forward to your visits – even count on them. Make sure you are close enough to stop for a quick visit – even if it’s a short one.

Don’t ignore the “nice” neighborhoods. It would seem that nicer neighborhoods would charge a premium. While it may be the case in some places, don’t take this for granted. I called or visited almost every place in a 15 mile radius of my house and all were about the same price. On a whim, I called a beautiful community near the beach – complete with ocean view – and it turned out to be the exact same price as communities in some of the less desirable neighborhoods in the county. Don’t let your lack of a phone call cause you to miss a great opportunity.

Match town size and options. Your loved one likely came from an independent environment where they could come and go as they please. Whether it was shopping at the mall, dining out or playing cards at the Senior Center, they had options. Make sure you locate them in an area that has a similar set of options to the area they came from. The transition will be less of a contrast and it will be easier to get them back into the swing of things.

Always remember what Andrea Arambula told me: “people rise to the challenge.” Because of our situation, I was faced with the need to make a quick decision: should I put my mother in a skilled nursing community or assisted living? In skilled nursing, she’d be by far the most advanced of any of the patients, though she still needed a lot of physical therapy. In assisted living, she’d be the least mobile, but would be on par socially with far more residents. With some encouragement from the admissions director, my mom and I chose the latter. She’s a fighter, and neither of us has ever regretted the decision. She certainly rose to the occasion.

Photo Credit: stevendepolo

Filed Under: Assisted Living Tagged With: ,

Tips for Finding Assisted Living Communities

October 17, 2011 By 6 Comments

Recall that assisted living communities offer your loved one a place to live where they can receive basic assistance, while retaining a measure of their privacy and independence. This assistance could be housekeeping, meal preparation, 24-7 monitoring, shower assistance, toileting, medication assistance or reminders; transportation and help with eating, or dressing. The amenities of assisted living should also include interesting and engaging activities, as well as opportunities for social activity.

Assisted living communities vary in size. In a small assisted living community, you will have 16 or fewer apartments/rooms (much like a residential home). In a large community, you will have over 17 apartments/rooms and up to over 100 apartments/rooms.

You can locate local assisted living communities through a number of means. I’ve found both the Medicare tool and several public web sites will cast a wide net for you to start your search

Medicare’s Long-Term Care Planning Tool

The Internet is playing a growing role in caregiving and healthcare. One such tool worth mentioning here is Medicare’s Long-Term Care Planning Tool. The stated goals of Medicare’s Long-Term Care Planning tool are to help you understand:

  • What long-term care services are available
  • How much you can expect to pay for long-term care
  • What financing options are available to support your long-term care costs

This tool will ask between twelve and twenty questions and will then provide you with the long-term care results you need by comparing your answers to those of individuals with similar profiles.

For those that want a quick snapshot of communities, the tool only requires a few questions. However, if you have specific care needs, financial constraints or care needs, the tool enables you to indicate those requirements.

While the results of this online tool are general in nature, and certainly not intended to replace comprehensive financial and other long-term personal planning, they will give you important insights.

An initial recommendation can be provided from only a few basic questions. By answering optional questions, the user can further narrow the list of recommendations. Here’s a tip: be sure to check out the Resources tab while you’re on the site. There’s a wealth of links to various government programs and agencies

Other Ways to Search

In addition to the Medicare online tool just mentioned, I’ve got some tips to get you started on choosing the right assisted living community for your loved one. First, you’ll want to know all of the options in the area in which you are interested. To get a full list of the communities near you, you can:

  • Visit or call your local senior center
  • Use Google to find the listings for assisted living in your area or zip code
  • Get a list from a local hospital or skilled nursing community
  • Or Go “old-school” and look in the Yellow Pages

Assisted living communities aren’t always easy to find, and many are nestled in between neighborhoods. While there are many sites on the Internet that list assisted living options on a regional basis, such as the ones listed above, the three that I found most useful are noted below. They’re good places to take a broad view of what’s available. Write down the ones closest to you. As you work your way through the process,  you’ll want to narrow this down to a short-list to choose from.

My favorites:

Snap For Seniors
Snap for Senior is a great resource for senior care communities and has the largest database of senior resources in the country.  I’ve met the co-founders Derek Preston and Eve Stern and they are fantastic people with a high-degree of integrity.  I would start my search there.

Senior Housing Net
Senior Housing Net is a fee community located from Move.com. Through this site, you can find local assisted living communities as well as prepared for your loved one’s move.

ElderCarelink
ElderCarelink is an internet-based referral service–free to consumers–that specializes in eldercare case matching for elders and their families. ElderCarelink assists families in finding a multitude of services, including assisted living, nursing homes, adult day care, private duty nursing, care management and homecare.

Stay tuned for part two of this blog post next week with more tips and suggestions on finding assisted living communities.

Photo Credit: maureen lunn

Filed Under: Assisted Living Tagged With: , ,

A Guide to Different Levels of Elder Care

September 26, 2011 By 4 Comments

Before you can even begin the process of evaluating assisted living, it’s im- portant to familiarize yourself with all the terms. There are many types of care ranging from skilled nursing to senior living. They all vary based on the level of assistance required by the resident. What is the difference? Let’s find out.

Senior Communities

Senior housing is designed for high-functioning elders, defined as those not requiring assistance with ADLs. Senior communities are usually neighborhoods or towns (consider Sun City, the nation’s “first and finest” senior community) that are limited to people of a minimum age. They are designed for active seniors and have a variety of social clubs such as golf, arts and crafts and cards.

While some senior communities offer additional levels of care, many are not equipped for individuals who require assistance with ADLs. Some senior communities require the resident move on, should they require this level of care.

Continuing Care

Continuing care communities are sometimes called “step care” or “progressive” care facilities. They offer a wide range of options, all the way from independent living to special care. Residents are usually admitted when they live independently. As their needs increase, they are guaranteed vacancies in the lower level of care. An entry fee is often required, making this option quite expensive.

Assisted Living

Assisted living offers the elderly a place to live outside of their own home, where they can receive basic assistance in one or more of the following areas: housekeeping, meal preparation, 24-7 monitoring, shower assistance, toileting, medication assistance or reminders, transportation, eating, dressing, activities or socialization.

In assisted living, your loved one will likely have their own apartment, unless you or your loved one consents to sharing a room with someone. A private bathroom is most often in the apartment to allow for privacy and dignity. Most facilities will have a kitchenette in the apartment with a sink, microwave, refrigerator, and cupboard space. Each apartment will likely be climate controlled individually. There will be access to common areas such as a TV room, an activity room, dining room, library, and communal sitting areas.

Assisted living facilities are designed for people who need help with complex ADLs on a daily basis. If you remember from the previous chapters, basic ADLs include eating, bathing, dressing and hygiene. More complex ADLs include cooking, shopping and money management. Assisted living aims to be the mid- point between independent living and long-term care.

Most assisted living facilities have a dining room decorated like a restaurant as well as a variety of activities. Most assisted living facilities are not licensed to administer IVs, requiring patients who need IVs to temporarily relocate to a skilled nursing facility.

Board and Care

Board and care is similar to assisted living in terms of care, although some group homes work with lower functionality seniors than those found in assisted living. A woman I spoke with recently had placed her mother, suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, in a board and care facility, sometimes known as a ‘group home.’ This is usually a single-family dwelling which has been converted into a residence for elderly and disabled residents. The monthly rent paid commonly includes room, three meals a day, laundry services, and some transportation – in addition to a 24-hour staff person. While basic medical care can be attended to, residents who have serious medical conditions will be expected to move into a more suitable facility.

Skilled Nursing

Skilled nursing (also called SNF or “sniff”) is the first level of care that is licensed to administer medical treatment with nurses. In fact, there are strict regulations that require nurses to be on duty and to regulation the nurse-patient ration.

As the name denotes, such a facility offers extensive nursing services for the residents. Admission must be initiated by a person’s physician, who recommends that a patient enter either ‘rehab care’ or a ‘special care’ facility.

  • Rehab care. Located in hospitals or nursing homes, rehab care programs are sometimes called “Level 1” or transitional care. They provide intensive medical care for patients who are expected to regain functional capacity and return home in a relatively short time.
  • Special care. There are two types of special care facilities: those involved with unique medical issues (sometimes called “Level 2” care), and those which manage behavioral problems that may arise from dementia.

Many patients are admitted to skilled nursing to address an acute condition such as rehabilitating a broken hip, or treating an infection with IV antibiotics.

Many skilled nursing facilities have a portion of their residents who are long- term care patients. These are patients who require the treatment capabilities of a SNF, yet their condition requires that level of care permanently. Long-term care includes nursing supervision, but it is custodial in nature – focused on maintenance as opposed to curative care. Here the condition is not expected to improve, and the nursing activities are focused on keeping the person healthy and safe. The table below summarizes the differences between the levels of care and residential options.

This table is an updated, compiled version of those found in both offline and online sources, many of them listed in the resources section, the Book Club listings or 2008 Long-Term Care Cost Study, The Prudential Insurance Company of America, 751 Broad Street, Newark, NJ 07102-3777.

Photo Credit: gilbert928.

Filed Under: Assisted Living, Skilled Nursing Tagged With: , , ,

Is it Time for A Geriatric Screening?

September 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

With elder care, there are rarely black and white answers to your concerns. Do you believe that your loved one is exhibiting behaviors that indicate their inability to perform basic or complex tasks? If you find yourself answering “yes,” then you should consider a geriatric screening for your loved one. You can arrange for a geriatric screening through your local hospital or social service agency.

To have a productive conversation with the healthcare worker or elder care provider, be sure to gather enough information about your loved one’s medical condition, legal status and personal preferences.

What is Geriatric Screening?

A geriatric screening is a comprehensive assessment designed to optimize an older person’s ability to enjoy good health, improve their overall quality of life, reduce the need for hospitalization and/or institutionalization, and enable them to live independently for as long as possible. An assessment consists of the following steps:

1. An examination of the older person’s current status in terms of:

  • Their physical, mental, and psycho-social health
  • Their ability to function well and to independently perform the basic activities of daily living such as dressing, bathing meal preparation, medication management, etc.
  • Their living arrangements, their social network, and their access to support services.

2. An identification of current problems or anticipated future problems in any of these areas.

3. The development of a comprehensive “Care Plan” which addresses all problems identified, suggests specific interventions or actions required, and makes specific recommendations regarding resources needed to provide the necessary support services.

4. The management of a successful linkage between these resources, the older person and that person’s family so that provision of the necessary services is assured.

5. An ongoing monitoring of the extent to which this linkage has or has not addressed the problems identified, and modification of the Care Plan as needed.

Who Performs a Geriatric Screening?

A geriatric screening can be done in many different settings such as:

  • a hospital
  • a nursing home
  • an outpatient clinic
  • a physician’s office
  • the patient’s home

Because a geriatric screening is so comprehensive in scope, it can only be successfully conducted by a multi-disciplinary team of experts. This team might include:

  • physicians
  • ancillary personnel
  • social workers
  • physical and/or occupational therapists
  • dieticians
  • psychologists
  • pharmacists
  • geriatric nurse practitioners

You can request a referral for a geriatric screening from a primary care physician. Also, check with any large hospital or university to see whether they have a geriatric assessment unit.

For more information on geriatric screenings, I recommend you review The Geriatric Patient: A Systematic Approach to Maintaining Health. This article by the American Association of Family Physicians provides a detailed review of the standardized assessment tools typically used in an outpatient setting.

Photo Credit: simaje.

Filed Under: Assisted Living, Caregiving, Health Tagged With: , , ,

3 More Signs of Functional Decline

September 5, 2011 By 3 Comments

elder careIn the last blog, I discussed some of the warning signs that your loved one could be experiencing functional decline, including difficulty communicating and the disturbance of everyday functions and tasks. These kinds of hardships may be symptoms of a more serious functional decline, in which your loved one is losing the skills needed to maintain basic independence.

In the previous blog, I gave a detailed account of physical, perceptual and cognitive changes that can indicate a functional decline. Now here are three more areas to monitor if you believe your loved one may be experiencing functional decline.

1. Hearing and Vision Loss

Hearing loss is hard to hide; it’s often one of the first indications your loved one is in need of assistance. Here’s a list of things to note:

  • Saying “What?” over and over again during conversations, or repeating what you just said, as if to confirm what they heard.
  • Turning the volume up on the television repeatedly, until the neighbors may be able to hear it – while your loved one still complains it’s ‘too low.’
  • An inability to distinguish certain sounds, such as f, t, and z, resulting in misunderstandings and miscommunication.
  • Nodding frequently during conversations, as if to confirm that they are participating fully in the dialogue.

And then there is eyesight – often the first of the senses to be noticeably affected by age. Focusing on small details becomes difficult; self-grooming becomes challenging – and who can write out the checks to pay bills when you can’t see the numbers?
As with hearing loss, compromised vision is also a safety issue. What are some of the signs of decreased visual acumen? Just ask yourself these questions:

  • Has your loved one lost interest in reading, playing cards, or other hobbies where clear vision is required (embroidery or television viewing, for example)?
  • Are their clothes, shoes or socks frequently mismatched?
  • If they still drive a car, are they getting lost more often (because they can’t see the street signs)?
  • Has your loved one started to fall, trip or bump into things more frequently?

Once again, a primary concern here is one of safety. How safe can your loved one be, if they can’t clearly hear or see the world around them? And if they’re driving, it can be catastrophic.

3. Frequent Falling

Certainly, frequent falling may not be related simply to poor eyesight; it could be the result of medical conditions related to poor physical health. Or repeated falling in the home environment could be the result of poor safety habits: loose throw rugs, a cluttered living space, exposed wiring, no handrails or poor lighting. There are also those elderly who refuse to use their assistive devices such as canes, walkers and wheelchairs – even refusing to wear their eyeglasses!

Whatever the causes, the consequences are serious – and should be addressed by your family or geriatric physician. Here are some things to watch out for:

  • Unexplained cuts and bruises, or explanations for these injuries that seem far-fetched or implausible.
  • Hesitancy when walking or climbing stairs.
  • Reticence to leave the familiarity and relative safety of their home.

4.  Psychological Changes

May Lamberton Becker – the journalist and literary critic once said, “We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.” What she’s describing is the process called disinhibition, where those personality traits that may have once been charming or quirky slowly become exaggerated as we age. Aunt Rosemary used to be rather bossy, but now she’s dictatorial; your father, who used to simply be self-reliant, is now completely resistive and argumentative.

It seems that the natural process of disinhibition is magnified when aging is coupled with fear and unhappiness. If it is complicated even further by depression or anxiety, your loved one will completely cling to those coping strategies that served them so well in their younger days – to the point they completely interfere with an independent life.

So, whatever you do, don’t delay in taking action. Start actively assessing all six areas of your loved one’s strengths and abilities as soon as possible. If there are signs of a serious functional decline, then you may want to consider a transition to assisted living.

Photo Credit: Flickr user One From RM.

Filed Under: Assisted Living Tagged With: , , ,

3 Common Signs of Functional Decline

August 29, 2011 By 4 Comments

Everyone changes physically and mentally with age, but there are some changes that can really put a loved one’s safety at risk.  If you think that a loved one may require a transition to assisted living or elderly care, then you must first assess whether they are undergoing a true functional decline.

Functional decline is sometimes difficult to diagnose as individual symptoms often go unnoticed. Below is a list of symptoms of functional decline to be familiar with.

  • Misusing medication (over or under use and deviating from a schedule)
  • Reports of inexplicable behavior from friends, neighbors or family members
  • Poor personal hygiene
  • Unpaid bills
  • Changes in spending patterns
  • inappropriate clothing
  • Stains on clothing or upholstery from urine or feces
  • Forgetting how to use simple tools
  • Poorly cared-for pets
  • Repetitive questioning
  • Difficulty in communicating
  • Confusion
  • Unfinished tasks and chores
  • Spoiled or poorly-prepared food

Studies have documented that functional decline, i.e., the loss of either complex or basic ADL functions is due to changes in one or more of six areas: physical, perceptual, cognitive, visual and hearing, falling and psychological.  Below I will describe the first three areas in more detail and I will discuss the latter three areas in the next blog post.

1. Physical Changes

It’s obvious to anyone: as the human body ages it loses physical strength, stamina, muscle coordination, and balance. Those of us who had aging grandparents or aunts and uncles saw firsthand how the natural aging process affected their abilities to perform commonplace tasks.

2. Perceptual Changes

Here we’re considering all the senses: vision, hearing, sensitivity to touch, taste – even smell. After all, each is important to overall well-being. If you can’t smell smoke, you may lose your life to a house fire; if your sense of touch is diminished by poor circulation, you may be burned by scalding water.

Many medications are responsible for changes in taste perception. When this happens, it’s easier to eat spoiled food, or even choose not to eat at all, as food no longer tastes like it used to. I have noticed that after older people are less able to use the telephone with ease. Warning alarms and buzzers may go unnoticed.

3.  Cognitive Changes

While our thinking may remain clear, the speed at which a human can process information slows considerably as we age. It’s not just the speed at which we perform tasks. It’s also our ability to multitask. Our ability to divide our attention fades as we age.

Those changes are within the range of normal and expected changes; but what of the complications of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease? With dementia and Alzheimer’s loss of memory, language processing skills and inability to solve problems greatly affects your loved one’s level of independence.

Look for these warning signs:

  • Disorientation, fright or confusion when faced with a change of location, such as a doctor’s visit, visiting friends or family, or eating out at a local restaurant.
  • Giving incorrect or evasive answers when asked simple questions. For example, “What day is it?” gets the response, “What, don’t you know?”
  • Aggressive behavior or noticeable personality changes.
  • An inability to concentrate on television programs, tasks or conversations.
  • A gradual (or sudden) loss of memory.
  • Disinterest in routine tasks, such as cooking or housekeeping.
  • A decline in social skills, such as successfully engaging in conversation, or eating a meal with the correct utensil.
  • A decline in judgment skills, or inability to recognize consequences. This could manifest itself in leaving the water running, not shutting off the stove, or leaving the front door unlocked.

There are three more areas to monitor in order to determine whether a loved one is experiencing a real functional decline: hearing and vision loss, frequent falling and negative psychological changes. In the next blog post we’ll discuss symptoms within these three areas and how these problems can lead to a functional decline and loss of independence in aging individuals.

Photo Credit: Flickr user e-MagineArt.com.

Filed Under: Alzheimer's, Assisted Living Tagged With: , , , ,

Is it Time for Assisted Living?

August 22, 2011 By 4 Comments

elder careYou’ve come to this blog for a reason. More than likely, you’ve seen changes in your loved one that have you concerned. They are likely changes that worry you, but have not fully convinced you that your loved one may need additional care. Whether a spouse, or a parent – even an aging sibling, this person has come to an impasse in life’s journey. And it’s at that impasse that you wish to help them overcome.

The first step is getting clarity about what’s going on today, and to temper that clarity with loving compassion and an understanding of what the future may hold. This assessment process can be emotionally challenging. It’s something I’ve learned firsthand.

Take a deep breath, and let’s move on to step one: the assessment of your loved one’s current capabilities and needs.

How is Your Loved One Feeling Today?

Regardless of our age, our bodies are in a continuous state of decline. Whether it is reading glasses, arthritis or a doctor’s warning about your lifestyle, our bodies emit warnings about its decline.

It’s no different with our loved ones, except that while it can be an inconvenience for us, it is a matter of independence for them. Since you are concerned about your loved one, you’ll want to do an assessment.

An assessment looks at four areas where change may have taken a toll on your loved one’s independence: the physical, perceptual, cognitive and psychological manifestations of aging. We’re going to explore those areas with one overriding premise: ensuring their safety, and the safety of those around them.

Physical changes and loss of abilities (to some degree) are natural in the aging process. Your loved one is not the same as they were 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago – any more than you are the same as you were then. With that said, the essential key in the assessment process is to recognize symptoms and actions which fall outside the range of expected and acceptable changes. What defines “acceptable changes”? I would say they are those changes that don’t significantly interfere with the way they’ve lived their daily life.

Many changes are subtle and inconsistent; and many don’t put their lives, or the lives of others, at risk. Truly then, the focus should be on risk management. Continually ask yourself this question: Is my loved one a risk to themselves or others?

The criterion most often used by doctors, social workers, and geriatric care managers is a list of activities of daily living, or ADLs. These are those most common activities, divided into two categories: basic and complex.

The early warning signs are often losses in the realm of complex skills. Usually (but not always) loss of basic ADLs comes later on in the decline in the quality of your loved one’s life. As every person is an individual, so is his or her aging; assessment can only be done on a case-by-case basis.

Basic Skills

  • Ability to feed oneself
  • Ability to use the bathroom appropriately
  • Ability to maintain good personal hygiene
  • Ability to dress appropriately for the season

Complex Skills

  • Cooking
  • Shopping
  • Effective communication
  • Following directions
  • Taking medications appropriately
  • Money management

This list of activities appears rather brief; however you can see that each element listed, whether ‘basic’ or ‘complex’ is essential. Everyone should be able to use the bathroom appropriately, or follow directions.

If your loved one is having difficulties with one or more of these tasks, then they are in a state of functional decline and you should more thoroughly asses the state of their decline and possible solutions. In my next post I will discuss common signs of functional decline in greater detail.

Photo Credit: Flickr user Titoy.

Filed Under: Assisted Living Tagged With: , , ,

My Experience with Elder Care and Assisted Living

August 15, 2011 By 11 Comments
elder careEighty-four percent of Americans over the age of 50 expect an immediate family member to move into a senior living community within the next 10 years, while 24 percent over the age of 65 expect the same for themselves, according to a new national survey of American attitudes on assisted living released today by the Coalition to Protect Choice in Senior Living (CPCSL). The poll found just more than half (51 percent) expect their parents to live in a senior living community within 10 years, with 15 percent expecting the same for their spouse and 10 percent for a sibling.

My Story

I’d like to briefly share the story of the event that started me on this path. I imagine it’s similar to your own in that it begins with an unexpected phone call.

My wife and I had just returned from celebrating our engagement in Greece, and we were sharing stories over bowling with some good friends.

I was the product of a second marriage, and my mom and I had become quite close since my father’s passing while I was in high school. We spoke often, so I wasn’t surprised when my cell phone rang and the caller ID showed it was her.
I was surprised when I answered and it was the paramedics.

Apparently, my mother called 411 asking for my name and phone number as she could not remember it. The operator called 911, and in a matter of minutes, they had arrived, kicked down the door and called me.

My mother had a stroke. I was only 33, and totally unprepared for the depth of emotions, or the complexity of the decisions I was about to face.

That a 73-year old woman had a stroke is not unusual. My mom’s case was unique because of the series of complications that nearly killed her. In the eighteen months following her stroke, she endured major back surgery to remove a staph infection from her spine, a perforated intestine that required stomach surgery, several MRSA infections1 requiring IV antibiotics and a broken hip. She spent several weeks in the surgical intensive care unit recovering from her back surgery. Many of these nights, I feared the worst. But my mom is a fighter.

The medical system these days isn’t designed for long-term recovery. Hospital personnel are highly trained at treating acute problems and dealing with specific injuries and conditions. In fact, we have some of the most skilled doctors in the world.

But when you’re older and recovering from a serious illness, your options are usually to go home, or go to a skilled nursing facility – where staff can provide physical or occupational therapy, administer IVs and perform other functions requiring a registered nurse.

During this time, she spent nearly six months moving back and forth between the hospital and skilled nursing. In January of 2006, I moved Mom from San Diego to Orange County. She graduated from skilled nursing and was on her way to assisted living.

Trust, Hope and Hard Work

When Mom arrived in assisted living, she could not stand or walk and required a 24-hour caregiver. She could not eat or drink on her own and was in a deep state of depression.

While I found much advice on medical conditions and treatment, I found virtually nothing on understanding assisted living. Sure, there were some Websites that taught you the basics, like “make sure a nurse is on duty” or “make sure the kitchen is clean.” But this is my mom and I wanted far better for her. I wasn’t putting her away; I was playing a key role in her recovery.

Because of the lessons I learned – and a lot of hard work on the part of my mother – she is doing very well. In fact, we’ve become very close friends. She walks with a walker; her memories are clear and vibrant. She has a circle of friends and a packed calendar.

She even made it to my wedding. And she looked beautiful. I cried. They say your wedding toast is one of the most important speaking opportunities you’ll ever have. And I consider myself to be a good public speaker, routinely speaking at tradeshows and other events. But when I looked into the crowd and saw my mother smiling, I fell apart.

The joy I felt at seeing her on that special day was overwhelming. So was my commitment to her continued well being. It was my clear intention that she be given every opportunity in her assisted living situation to thrive, to grow, and to be fulfilled.

Recall the statistics at the beginning of the chapter. While I was shocked these numbers were so high, I completely agree. I did some homework. In an informal study of about 40 people, I sensed an almost inevitability about needing assisted living. I also found that financial issues and quality of care topped the list of concerns for both Baby Boomers and their children.

I followed up my informal study with a formal study of nearly 200 families. The Assisted Living Family Attitude and Preparedness Report showed that 75% of respondents believed a friend or family member would soon require assisted living. The report is free to anyone who wants to read it and can be accessed at the link above.

My goal is to share with you some of what I learned through my journey. My hope is that these lessons can make it easier for you and your mom, dad, relative or loved one. I assume you’re reading this blog because you or a loved is considering assisted living. Since you likely haven’t gone through it before, the decisions can be overwhelming. I’ve written this blog to help you make more informed decisions, and to be calm in what is likely to be an emotional storm. I sincerely hope I can help you avoid some of the pitfalls of learning the assisted living ropes.

While a move to assisted living may initially be seen as negative, I know first- hand that with some careful and thoughtful planning, you can make it a huge positive for all concerned. Over the last several years, my relationship with my mother has strengthened. She has become one of my best friends and an integral part of my life.

I hope you enjoy reading this blog and that I’m able to somehow make your journey a bit easier.

Photo Credit: andrewmalone.

Filed Under: Assisted Living, Caregiving, Family Life Tagged With: , , , , ,

Interview with Softrama, Makers of Seniorama Pointer 2011

July 20, 2011 By 2 Comments

There is so much innovation in senior care right now.  Much is being created along the care side, but few companies have dared to propose new technology directly to seniors.

It’s a tough nut to crack. Even thought seniors are getting more  comfortable with technology, it still takes a special solution to be able to make technology engaging and useful.

I had the chance to speak to Gal Har-Zvi of Softrama, the makers of Seniorama Pointer 2011. It’s a software application that transforms your existing computer into a senior-friendly operating system.  Below is the transcript of our interview with some screenshots of the application at the end of the interview.

Tell me a little about the company?

Founded in 2009, Softarama Ltd is a dynamic Israeli software company with a broad array of products for personal computers. We make each and every product affordable and friendly to the user. Our specialty is creating reliable desktop applications that improve PC performance and accessibility for non-tech-savvy users.  Softarama’s products are being used on a daily basis by tens of thousands of satisfied customers across the globe.

How did you personally get in the busy?

Softarama’s CEO, Shalom Ben-Moshe and I, are good friends since college. It was almost a year ago when he told me that Softarama is developing an innovative tool for seniors that will make every computer super easy for them to use. I was so excited by this great idea and had asked him to join this venture. The issue is also very important to me, since we all would love to see our parents and grandparents make better use of the Internet and open-up to the world.

What is the problem you’re trying to solve?

Apart from being an antidote to loneliness, the Internet can provide seniors with health information, access to groups coping with issues like chronic diseases, daily news, how-to instructions, where to find products and services, pen pals – And that’s just for starters! However, despite all of these benefits, according to latest Pew study, 42% of seniors age 65-73 and 70% of those 74+ are not online. This is mostly because they find computer s too complex and difficult to use and not because they don’t want to. We have created a great tool, which transforms any computer into an intuitive, easy-to-use machine – From start-up to shutdown, in a way that is most suited for seniors and anyone who may have visual problems, learning difficulties, cognitive impairment or, unfortunately, a neurological disease of some sort.  Now everyone can enjoy the benefits of using a computer and going online.

There have been several attempts at senior-friendly computing.  What makes you different?

Seniorama is different from several aspects.

First, no need for buying a new computer, or any other electronic device. It only requires a simple PC or laptop, and many people already have one that they can give, or share with their aging parents.

Second, many of these attempts have failed because the products were too complex for seniors to use. Many of them had too many features and their design was not friendly at all. We’ve put a great emphasis on research and conducted many studies to decide what features to include in Seniorama and to come up with the optimal Graphic User Interface. Seniorama is the simplest and most useful and intuitive computer interface on the market.

Third, while these tablets, senior-friendly computers, and even iPads cost at least hundreds of dollars – Seniorama is sold at a mere $97. We did our best to make this affordable to each and everyone, thus bridging the online gap.

What are some key features you’ve built?

It was difficult to choose what features to develop, since our main goal was usability and simplicity alike.  After conducting a lot of research we have decided to include Email, Video and audio calls, Internet browser, Brain-fitness games and Photos albums. Seniorama can also read the emails out loud, record and send a voice emails  24/7 email support available.

Can you describe the installation?

The installation process takes about 5 minutes. After downloading and running the software, the supporter (e.g Charlie, the grandson – The one who installs the program) is being asked to insert the license key and the user name for which to create a customized email address (e.g grandpa Mike, the actual user). Then Charlie can also add his name to be displayed on Mike’s address book as the first contact person.

Charlie can also choose to have Senoirama start automatically when Windows starts, to shut down the computer when the Mike has finished the session, to have bigger fonts and mouse pointer and so on.  It’s really very simple and includes on-screen instructions during the whole process.

How does it work for people who already have PCs?

Exactly the same as above.

Where can people go to take a look at the product?

They can find it along with other great products,  at our website at www.softarama.com/Products/Seniorama.

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